Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
smell my finger.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
