they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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