i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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