I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
