I can feel you judging me through the phone.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
