i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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