wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
