My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
