I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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