If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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