Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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