Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
