Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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