kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize