Plan B is the new Plan A
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
