You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
