I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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