We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize