i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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