She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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