Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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