Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
