ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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