you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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