i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
