I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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