4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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