my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
