yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
