She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
