And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
