WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
