He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What drink are we having for lunch?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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