well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
