In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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