Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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