so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
