Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
