he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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