He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
