I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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