why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
