Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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