Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
