I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
