So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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