so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
