I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
