I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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