We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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