3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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