Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
