Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize