You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.