it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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