i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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