All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
