My first STD was from a foam party
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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