I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize