Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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