My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
