So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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