He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
