Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
