Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish you could order shots online.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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