I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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