Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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