Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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