I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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